Social Inequality between Gender in Marriage Life. (Ain Radiatul)

 

ABUSIVE MAN IN MY LIFE

   It was five years ago when I met my ex-husband, Nolan. Our love story started when my car broke on my way home from my workplace. He is the one who helped me. Since then, we always contact each other and start dating. After one year, we got married.

   Everything was perfect until one day I found his personality was different. I felt like he is not my husband that I used to know. He used to be a soft-spoken, caring, and loving person. But after we got married, he is totally different. I was enjoying my time having a cup of tea and suddenly I heard Nolan call my name and at that moment I know he was pissed off with me. When I am facing him, the first thing that I got was his hand on my face. Yes, he slapped me. I was speechless and blank. “I told you to do not told your sister about our life! Don’t you get it!?”  he shouted at me and left the house.

   Things got worse when he got fired and jobless. He kept asking for money from me. “Lucy! Give me money, I need to buy cigarettes! Faster!” he said. “I don’t have money. I need it to buy groceries and pay the house rent.” I answered. He got angry. He took his long and thick belt and hit me on my body. The pain was unbearable until I realized there was a lot of blood between my legs. I beg him to stop but he ignored me. This situation happened for a few minutes, but it feels like hours to me. After he was satisfied, he stopped, took all my money, and left the house. As usual, he wouldn’t come back for a few days. He will come home if he needs money.

    Thank God my sister comes just in time. She took me to the hospital, and we got the surprising news, which is I pregnant, but I lost my child. I just can’t hold my tears anymore. I literally cried my eyes out when I knew the news. I couldn't help myself anymore and immediately asked my sister to help me file for a divorce. I don't want myself to continue to be tortured if I am with an inhumane man. The process was very smooth. Now I am free from a man who abused me mentally and physically. My life is getting better day by day. I noticed there are always women being abused by their husbands.

    For girls out there, please be careful in choosing a husband. If you get the one that appreciates you then you are lucky but otherwise, your life will be like hell for you.

 

BEING BODY SHAME BY HUSBAND

    I body shamed myself on a daily basis, but nothing compared to the sting and humiliation of being called "fat" by my husband, and nothing more painful than watching your husband cheat on you only because of your body. My body changes a lot after I gave birth to my son, Enzo and my husband didn’t like that. He noticed that my body wasn’t like before. I used to be called as Kendall 2.0 and everyone admired my body shape. I used to hear sweet words as sweet as honey and always receive compliments from him but now I only heard him call me a fat monster. Every single day I cried again and again until I felt the feeling of love toward him fade.

  Let me tell you something, there was a day when his friend invited both of us to his birthday party and yes both of us come to the party. I wore my blue pastel dress and makeup like usual but out of nowhere, he said “Why are you wearing makeup? It doesn’t make you look better. It doesn’t change you and you make yourself look like a fat clown. I am scared the children are afraid of you.” And he laughed. I refused to let him see my cry again, but the tears come out fast and furious the moment I wore my heels. At the party, he continued ignoring me, and even worst he is flirting with other women.

   I couldn’t hold my anger anymore. I am mad as a hatter, and I can feel the smoke coming out from my ears. I go straight to him bring a glass of fresh orange and splash it toward him. He is very shocked, and I can see his eyes widen like his eye will come off his face after realized what is happening. He then shouted at me in front of all his friends. “What do you think you are doing?! What’s wrong with you, Nia?!” he said. “You asked me why?! Asked yourself why I am mad at you, why I am behaving like this! I am your wife, Ezra!” I shouted. “Oh, you are mad because I am flirting with her.? You know what Nia, you are the ugliest person I have ever met. You are fat and your body is full of marks.” He said that proudly and loudly. I can hear everyone chuckling. I couldn’t stand it anymore and I left that party immediately.

   I stayed with my family for a month until I got a divorce letter from Ezra. Without thinking a second I signed the letter, and we are officially divorced. It’s always a woman not a man being body shame in marriage life. I wonder why. For me, body shape shouldn’t be a reason if you love someone. Girls, please find a man, not a boy. Find someone who can accept you for the way you are. And please appreciate people who only appreciate you. Love yourself, and ignore toxic people, it's good for your mental health.